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If you’ve ever had a rough experience with a difficult client that left you feeling down about yourself or even questioning your abilities as a photographer… let’s chat. Today’s blog/video is less about technical photography skills or business tactics, and more about how you can take care of yourself and move on after a challenging client experience has got you down.

 

 

One in Ten Clients…

So… challenging clients 😫 The idea for this video actually came to us because one of our Apprentices recently had a really rough photoshoot with a client, and she reached out to us for advice as she was struggling to move past it emotionally and mentally. These types of photoshoots or weddings happen to everyone, and honestly, if you haven’t had a rough client experience yet, you eventually will. It’s just one of the realities of working in a client-facing, customer-service-oriented industry.

 

In fact, we swear that for every 10 weddings we shoot, we’ll have one couple we absolutely LOVE — like, we would photograph their wedding for free because we just connect with them on such a personal level, and capturing their wedding feels effortless. Sometimes, these couples even become our friends who we end up getting dinner with or hanging out with outside of their wedding and engagement session! Then, out of that same 10, there’s probably 8 weddings that are just… good 🤷‍♂️. We knock them out, love and serve our couple well, deliver some great images, and then move on to the next one. These jobs aren’t bad by any means, but we just didn’t connect with them super deeply.

 

Then… there’s the remaining 1. These jobs or these wedding days are slogs. The couple honestly probably shouldn’t have hired us in the first place, because their vision doesn’t align with what we do. Or maybe their vision aligns, but our personalities don’t. Or maybe they’re just a hot mess, or really mean or unreasonable. These clients become sources of dread and anxiety every time we think about them or look at their images. So the real question from here is: how do you deal with these difficult clients and experiences?

 

 

When Your Dream Becomes a Nightmare

For many of us, photography is THE dream job. We quit another job or hustled and worked hard to get here. But some clients can make the dream feel like a nightmare, and even cause us to doubt whether or not this is the right profession for us. And as tempting as it is to fall into fear and doubt, one or two difficult clients do not define you as a photographer or as a businessperson. In any profession there are people who are going to be incredibly difficult to work with.

 

And this is where the first and most important thing to remember comes in: it’s THEM, not YOU! Some people are just mad at the world. Maybe they had a tough childhood or maybe they just had a bad morning. But either way, their poor behavior is not a reflection on you or your value.

 

You are a human being, whom we believe was made in God’s image, who deserves respect and dignity. Anyone who treats you otherwise is the one with the issues, not you. And the worst part is that often, these kinds of people are just looking for someone (anyone) to bring down to make themselves feel better, and you just happened to be on the wrong end of their frustrations.

 

 

(Re)Building Confidence

But especially early in your career, a harsh word or bad review from a client can shatter your confidence. And as much as it sucks, this kinda makes sense when it comes to human psychology. We tend to prioritize bad news over good news in our minds. That’s why, new stories about crime and natural disasters stick with us more than positive stories. It’s also why, even if you get 9 positive reviews, 1 negative one will be the one that stands out to you the most. Negative feelings often seem louder than the positive ones. But even just recognizing that and being aware of that truth can help prevent you from spiraling.

 

And once you acknowledge that this one negative review isn’t a reflection of who you are as a photographer — or even worse, who you are as a person — the best thing you can do for yourself is to get back out there and keep pushing and improving. Because when the negative feedback inevitably comes, the best way to survive it is to already feel confident in your self-worth and your abilities, which truly does come with time, with experience, and with educating yourself in your craft and your business.

 

 

Another thing that’s crucial to growing this confidence is positive self-talk. When we were in premarital counseling, our Pastor told us that whatever we tell ourselves about our spouse will eventually become our reality. So if we tell ourselves that our partner is a beautiful and intelligent and kind and caring person, then the way that we treat each other will reflect those things, and we’ll each create an environment that allows the other to grow and thrive and be all of those things that we believe they are.

 

But this also works in reverse. If we tell ourselves that the other is negative and selfish and rude and doesn’t care about our marriage, then we’d unknowingly be creating the type of hostile and unloving environment that eventually turned the other person into those things.

 

And these principles work even MORE powerfully with self-talk. If you only tell yourself negative things about yourself, a negative client experience will only affirm these negative beliefs you have about yourself. But if you’re constantly encouraging yourself after a good session or taking time to celebrate your improving work, then the negative client experiences will seem like the anomalies that they probably are. But a word of caution: if you wait until there’s a negative experience to begin practicing self-care and positive self-talk, you’ll struggle WAY more when they come. Instead, start today, and keep it up no matter what you run into.

 

 

Practical Steps to Getting Past Difficult Client Experiences

By the way — when our Apprentice first reached out to us with this question, she had already finished the session and was struggling to work on editing the photos, because of all the negative emotions they brought up for her. If you’re looking for things like, “How do I respond to a client who asks me to do something that I don’t really want to do” or “What do I say when a client’s mom is being super obnoxious on a wedding day”, we’re going to have a whole other video about responding to challenging client requests later this year. Today, we’re focusing more on the self-care and mental health aspect of challenging clients.

 

So, when some nightmarish human being has you feeling down about yourself, it’s important to take time to bring yourself back up as you try to move on. And this is going to look totally different for everyone. Maybe it’s a bubble bath, or maybe it’s downhill mountain biking. Maybe it’s some extra time with friends who care for you, or maybe a little extra time alone in nature. If you’re a religious person, maybe it’s time in prayer or meditation. But working on yourself is essential in a business where you are your own boss.

 

Another idea is to give the session some space before you try to come back to it. If you find yourself feeling anxious every time you look at the images or if the hurt from the session is still too raw, let the session sit for a little while so you can start feeling better. But as SOON as you’re up to it, knock the session out, deliver the images, and try to move on with your life and forget about that experience. The dread of it hanging over you might end up being worse than actually dealing with it.

 

 

Another trick that can sometimes help (especially when anger or frustration is the lingering emotion) is to write a letter saying everything you want to say to those clients. Really go off on them and say exactly what you want. Let ’em have it. Then, read it out loud to yourself or to a friend or partner, laugh a bit if you can, then delete the message and never send it. Even if no one but you reads that message, it can be cathartic to get it off your chest.

 

And finally, get help if you need it. If you find yourself constantly getting stuck in these same feelings or ruts, seeking a professional counselor or even a business coach might be wise.

 

But along that same line of getting help: having a community around you — and especially a community of other photographers who can empathize with what you’re going through — is SO important. And if you don’t feel like you already have a community — then we’d love to be that community for you! That’s one of the reasons we created our “Mastering the Wedding Photography Biz with Hunter and Sarah” Facebook Community. It’s free to join, so don’t hesitate to hop in if you feel like you could use some photographer friends!

 

 

Want More?

 

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