Welcome back to our “How to Propose” blog series! Last week, we talked through picking the perfect spot to propose. This week, we’re talking about the proposal itself. Yes, we’re finally going to actually talk about how to propose to your girlfriend or partner (in a blog series literally called how to propose 😂)! We’re using our experience of planning and photographing 60+ surprise proposals to zoom in and focus on planning the ask itself! Although it will probably only take 3-5 minutes in the moment, months of planning have gone into this moment!

 

 

How to Propose: A Recap So Far

Over the last five posts, we’ve been leading up to this moment. In Part 1, we asked you to consider whether or not you were really ready to get engaged. In Part 2, we schemed on some ways that you can find out your partner’s ring size without tipping them off. We even advised you on picking out a ring! In Part 3, we talked about how to plan the day around a proposal, in order to make it totally unforgettable. In Part 4, Sarah spoke directly to everyone who’s waiting to be proposed to. Like I did in Part 1, she asked some hard questions about what they really wanted. Finally, in Part 5, we helped you pick out the perfect location for the proposal.

 

Now… you’re ready for the big moment! You’ve thought through the entire, process and are sure you want to be engaged. You’ve picked out a ring, planned the day perfectly around sunset, maybe with a surprise party waiting for you after. And you’ve even chosen the perfect location to maximize beauty and sentimentality. Now is the moment of truth!! It’s time to pull out that ring and ask the big question!

 

 

How to Propose (With a Photographer on Standby)

If you’re the type of person to read professional photography blogs (which you obviously are), then it may be unnecessary to talk about the importance of photographing such an important moment. But I have to say that there are certain milestones in life (engagements, weddings, new babies, etc.) that are worth investing extra time, energy, and money in, in order to capture those moments forever. So don’t let this moment go by! After all, images fade much more slowly than memories. Even if it isn’t us who photograph the proposal, we sincerely hope that you’ll find a professional photographer. Although selfishly, we do hope it’s us! (More on us capturing your proposal here.)

 

Anyway, if you’ve hired a photographer who has experience with proposals, they should be able to consult on best practices for the location you’ve chosen. They should make suggestions like when and where to propose, to capture the proposal in the best light. You already know from Part 3 that you should always aim for Golden Hour whenever possible. But they may be able to give you an even more exact time to aim for, which will depend on how long they’ll take portraits afterwards. Your photographer will also take the lead when it comes to lighting and background! At least, that’s what we do 😉

 

Your photographer should also have a plan for how to remain hidden, so they don’t give away the surprise at the last moment! Since Sarah and I typically work together as a husband-and-wife team, we have an advantage. No matter the location, we can almost always hide in plain sight! We just put down a blanket and break out our picnic basket. From far away, no one can tell that the basket is filled with camera equipment instead of wine and cheese!

 

 

Keeping Your Cool As You Propose

If you’ve managed to keep things a surprise this far, make sure you don’t stumble in the final moments! You’ve hired a photographer, purchased an engagement ring and maybe even planned a surprise party. And you’ve hopefully done it all without tipping off your partner. The last thing you want is for them to figure it out that morning when they notice a huge cube sticking out of your pocket!

 

We recommend purchasing a thin ring box made specifically for surprise proposals. It’s a better option than the giant ring box, and is definitely a better option that putting a loose ring in your pocket! That’s how you lose very expensive jewelry, my friends. You can find them on Amazon for under $50, which is a small price to pay in comparison to how valuable the ring — and the surprise — will be!

 

So, here you are. The moment has arrived. Golden Hour has just begun and the two of you are at the location you selected after reading Part 5. The photographers are in place, discreetly hiding their cameras and telephoto lenses. Maybe you’re at a local park or sipping a glass of wine at a vineyard. It’s time to casually suggest you go for a walk. You just want to check out the beautiful mountain vista or city skyline! But secretly, you know that you’re walking to that perfect location that you and your photographer have figured out ahead of time.

 

 

What to Say When You Propose

In my experience, it’s really hard to keep your head clear in this moment. Your heart is beating at approximately 400 beats-per-minute, and you’ve already forgotten your own name. But that’s fine! All that matters is that you can remember your partner’s name, and the words “Will you marry me?”

 

However, you may want to practice a few more words than that. Consider spending some time planning well in advance! I’d recommend writing down everything you want to say, getting everything out of your head and onto paper. Literally, make a bullet-point list, write out a short speech, or even just a few general themes. Then, practice a few times alone, so you can nail it in the moment. Or, if you’re the wild-type, just wing it. 🤷‍♂️ But I will warn you: 90% of our clients tell us afterwards: “I had this great speech planned out, but in the moment I completely forgot the entire thing and just blurted out ‘MARRY ME!'” I (Hunter) can add myself to this statistic. Sarah can attest to the fact that I basically blacked out once we started walking toward the spot.

 

If you’d like to have more than “[name], will you marry me?”, but aren’t sure where to start, this is one area where we can’t advise specifically. Maybe you want to affirm your partner and remind them of all the reasons you’re in love with them. Perhaps you want to retell the story of your relationship in a few sentences, and show how it culminates with this moment. Or maybe you just want to tell them how much you love them, and why you want to marry them. Either way, make it genuine and from the heart. I’m sure it’ll be great!

 

 

Getting Creative with Your Surprise Proposal

Now, maybe you’re not the speech type. Or maybe you just want to add a little extra flare to the proposal! In that case, there are plenty of options to spice things up. You could consider writing a long note instead of a short speech. We’ve had clients do this before, and they loved it because they got to say everything they wanted to say, exactly how they wanted to say it. And they didn’t have to worry about memorizing a long speech!

 

We had one client go one step further with this idea. He enclosed his note and a bottle of wine from that year in a box, and hid the box in the vineyard he was proposing in. They “discovered” the box while walking through the vines, and he conveniently had the key in his pocket!

 

You could also use a prop to ask. This is especially good if it’s something that’s personal to your relationship. We had a client write, “Will you marry me” on a leaf. He and his girlfriend had once written poems to each other on leaves early in their relationship. To an outside observer, it may have seemed like an odd thing to do. But to them, it was a very personal expression. It told her, ‘I know our history and it’s important to me, and I want to make a future with you!’

 

 

We had another guy who had a bottle of wine engraved with the question and the date. He gets bonus points because he also just created their first family heirloom!

 

 

What to Do When You’re Proposing

Here’s one of our most important pro tips when it comes to getting amazing images of a surprise proposal. Get down on one knee. Give your speech. Ask your partner to marry you. Wait for a response. Put the ring on their finger. Then stand up. In that order.

 

This is really important, as it will give your photographers enough time to capture you down on one knee. A lot of our clients get nervous, and only go down on on knee for a heartbeat or two. Then they pop back up like the ground was lava! We completely understood how eager they were to embrace. But we recommend that you let that moment where you are down on one knee really sink in for both of you. Getting down on one knee is a physical representation of a relational reality in marriage. It says to your partner, I’m in a servant position. It’s my job to love and care for you, even if it costs me. So here I am, down on one knee, formally asking if I can love and serve you all my days! Don’t let this moment go by in a split second!

 

Now, stand up! Hug! Kiss! Lift your new fiancé(e) off their feet! Do whatever the heck feels right in that moment! You’re engaged!!

 

 

You Did It! You’re Engaged! 🍾

Hooray! They said yes! You’re engaged! If you’ve hired us, we’ll wait until you both have caught your breath, then walk up and introduce ourselves to you and your new fiancé(e)! We’ll also use this as an opportunity to brag on how far in advance you hired us, and how much effort and preparation has gone into the moment! We’re basically great wing-people! (here is here) 😂

 

Then, after giving you two a couple of moments to yourselves, we’ll whisk you off for an engagement mini-session! It’s just like the 90-minute engagement sessions we do with all of our wedding couples, except abbreviated. We know that your partner is going to have a LOT of questions. Plus, you two have a lot of staring into each other’s eyes to do, so we won’t hold you long! There might even be a dinner reservation or a surprise party waiting for you! But we also want to take advantage of all the love and emotion that you two are feeling in that moment. So we’ll give you some killer images to post on social media that evening to announce the big news!

 

That’s because we do 24-hour turnaround for all of our surprise proposal clients. While an engagement session might take us a month, and wedding galleries can take us as long as 10 weeks, we deliver fully-retouched digital images either that afternoon or the following day to all our surprise proposal clients. We know that the emotions are so fresh, and you’ll both be SO excited to share images with friends and family. Not to mention sharing on social media! So this is a service we include for all of our proposal clients.

 

 

Thanks so much for reading! We hope that these blogs have helped couples as they plan their path to engagement. Next week, we’ll give some advice on how to turn a proposal into a full-weekend celebration! But for now, you’ve got some speech-writing to do, don’t you!?

 

—

 

Check out the rest of the series at the links below!

• How to Propose Part 1: “Should I get engaged?”
• How to Propose Part 2: How to pick the right engagement ring
• How to Propose Part 3: “When should I propose?”
• How to Propose Part 4: “When will he propose?”
• How to Propose Part 5: Where to propose (in Charlottesville)
• How to Propose Part 6: How to Propose to Your Girlfriend/Partner
• How to Propose Part 7: How to Plan a Proposal Weekend in Charlottesville

 

—

 

If you want to learn more about our full-service proposal planning and photography services, click here!