After leading our HSP Brides Facebook group for the last few months, I noticed that there was a demand for wedding planning tips on some of the lesser-known parts of the wedding day. This blog series of Wedding Tips is meant to tackle the topics our expectant brides want the most!

 

Sarah’s Wedding Tips, Part 2: Setting Expectations with the Wedding Party

Something that Hunter and I have learned to do well with each other over the last ten years is set expectations. We often take just a moment to make sure we’re on the same page, whether we’re planning a trip, working late one evening, or deciding what to do on a long car ride. This isn’t exactly a sexy thing to talk about, but it has saved us from a lot of disappointment!

 

When it comes to wedding planning, setting expectations will not only help you put your vision into words, it will save you from miscommunication and disappointment down the road! You’ve spent years dreaming of this day and months planning it. Set expectations well so you can enjoy every piece of your day!

 

 

Connect Your Wedding Party to Each Other

Something I absolutely loved about our wedding party was that there were people from so many different stages in our lives. Family, friends from high school and college were all collected together on our dream team. However, none of them knew each other! Introductions can be weird, and it can be easy to forget that your sister may not actually know your best friend from work.

 

Remove the awkward barrier: send a welcome text to connect the whole wedding party together and have them introduce each other! Now everyone has the number for every single person in the wedding party. This will come in handy as people begin searching for rooms together, planning gifts, coordinating rides, or even trying to find the one lost groomsman on the day of the wedding!

 

 

Let them Know What they Can Expect as a Bridesmaid or Groomsmen

Although you may have friends who seem to be in weddings on a quarterly basis, for some friends, your wedding will be the first wedding that they’ve ever been a part of! They may not know that they will need to get a hotel for  an extra night so they can attend the rehearsal dinner. You may understand that dresses and suits come in longer sizes so you can tailor them to your size, but some people don’t realize this until they go to put on their suit the morning of the wedding!

 

If you have a task or idea in your head for what the wedding party should do, let them know! Send a long text or an email (or probably both) to your party with what to expect and how much time and money they should plan to spend. The earlier you do this, the more notice you give people to either prepare well for the experience so they can enjoy it, or politely bow out if they won’t be able to make it happen (more on that below).

 

Something I am famous for in our house is expecting Hunter to read my mind. I have learned that letting Hunter know what I’m thinking helps us both – but especially me. When it comes to your wedding party, adjust your own expectations and don’t be afraid to over-communicate! If you have a vision of everyone staying in the same Airbnb or hotel, tell them that you’ve made reservations for everyone or set a room block as soon as you do! If you know that you want all of the bridesmaids to wear pearl earrings, get french manicures, and rock some nude wedge heels – tell them! Once you know what the wedding party needs to wear, do, or stay, tell them immediately so they can plan.

 

 

Give Them an Opportunity to Bow Out

On a different note, being a part of a wedding party can be time-consuming and expensive. Your dearest friends of course want to be there and stand beside you. They will almost certainly say yes when asked, especially if they’re like Hunter and don’t want to let people down. However, they may not realize at first what they’ve signed up for. Your wedding party may contain people at various stages in life. Some may have a young family that needs them at home. Some may be in a difficult place emotionally or financially. Others just have a really challenging work schedule, and time off is like gold to them!

 

Before you start to ask people to commit financially — sending out the attire they should rent or buy, the hotel block, and other details — you can give people the chance to back out if they need to for any reason. Sometimes this just looks like adding a quick note at the end of an email or text, but for that one person whose struggling, it may be exactly what they need.

 

Have grace with your friends and give them an opportunity to opt out without feeling ashamed. And you can get a little creative! Maybe one bridesmaid will skip the bachelor party but remain a part of the wedding party for the wedding day. Or maybe you could ask if other wedding party members would be willing to pitch in a bit extra to help pay for those who are in a difficult place financially. Your wedding party are your best friends. These are the people who love and care for you the most! They would do anything for you if you asked them to, but you can still bless them by not asking them to enter into perilous financial situations.

 

 

The Follow Up

After you’ve introduced everyone and sent an email with the details, the next most important thing is the follow up. Check-in to make sure people have bought their assigned clothing and tried it on with ample time for alterations, if necessary! Make sure everyone has a place to stay, and has done anything else you’ve asked them to do.

 

Throughout the process, check in with people and see if they have questions. If you don’t know the answer yet, that’s ok! You’re planning a lot as you go, so if people are asking questions about the rehearsal dinner timeline or other yet-unknown details, you can always tell them that you will let them know just as soon as you figure it out!

 

Hopefully these few tips will help your bridesmaids and/or groomsmen have a more seamless and enjoyable wedding experience! Good luck out there!

 

xoxo,

Sarah

 

 

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Check out more segments from this blog series!

• Sarah’s Wedding Tips, Part 1: My 3 Biggest Mistakes from My Wedding Day
• Sarah’s Wedding Tips, Part 2: Setting Expectations with the Wedding Party

 

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If you’re interested in speaking with Hunter and I about your own wedding day, click HERE to learn more and get in touch with us!